Why Beautiful Women Are Crazy About Bad Boys (And Hate Nice Guys) ?
Sponsored Links
Nice guys finish last at attracting girls. Why? Because deep down all women want to feel safe. They face one threat men don’t have to worry about – rape.
If you’re too nice of a guy, you’re sending a signal to her – you’re not qualified to protect her.
So why do must guys act like wimps around women? For some men, it’s natural. They are hardwired to be nice guys. Since birth it’s become a response for them: See hot girl, act like wimp.
Others however, have learned the skill of “wimpy nice guy”. The golden rule says treat others how you would like to be treated. Mom and dad taught you that being nice makes people like you. And it does. As friends… not as a lover.
Making a woman like you is hardly a factor at making her feel attracted to you. I know it doesn’t make sense. But attraction isn’t based on logic. It follows it’s own rules.
Here’s the dilemma – how do you overcome “wimpy nice guy” when it’s an automatic response you’ve been born with or were taught overtime?
I know for me… it was hard to let go of being “wimpy nice guy”. He had been a part of me for so long I just wouldn’t know what to do without him. Also… I didn’t like admitting mistakes. It is a cold slap in the face to wake up one day realizing that when it comes to attracting women, I had been doing it all wrong.
But I decided I’d rather be rich than right. So I set up a little experiment that went like this. I’d go out for two hours fours nights a week. Each night I went out, I would approach at least 5 women.The first week I would continue to be a “wimpy nice guy”. The second week I’d be more cocky and arrogant. I’d try to push women and find their boundaries, and see what I could get a way with.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the first week didn’t go well. In fact, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. The second week however, produced some interesting results.
At first, it didn’t go well at all. Women thought I was a jerk… but weren’t attracted to me. Part of it was because my words were saying one thing but my body language was saying something else.
The more I tried it though, the more natural it became. My body language become congruent with my words. I also started to find exactly what buttons I could push that would make women say, “you’re a jerk” and be serious… And which buttons would make them say, “you’re a jerk” and then giggle and smile.
Then it hit me. I figured out what charm really was. Teasing a women in a way that makes her laugh. This was the perfect position to be in… not a jerk, not a wimp… but a charmer.
A word of caution: I think it is okay to be nice to a woman. But you must do it on your terms. Not hers. Being nice only on her terms is a “wimp nice guy” tactic. Getting her something sweet just because you felt like it is a smart thing to do.
I urge you to test everything I tell you. Do as I did. Try it one week how you think it should be. Try it the next week with the advice I give you. Find out what works for you and what you’re comfortable with.
Do it right and you can be charming to a woman and be nice to her… and still not be thought of as a wimp!
Nice guys don’t always finish last.
i’ve always stayed away from ‘bad boys’ and any guy that seems to be trying to be rude to get a charge out of me, even if it’s playful. and i’m a total cutie. ^.~ i’ve been with my ‘nice guy’ for a few years now.
it seems to be that there’s a rift dividing women these days, the ones who are evolving to like the modern day nicer guys and the ones who are still attracted to the more risk-taking types that are kind of ‘jocks/jerks’. i’m slim, i work out, i go to the salon to have my hair done, i do indeed take care of myself and try to hit the sexy glam notes. there is no shortage of jerkwads trying to get my number, i know you guys think you are amusing but really it’s a brush if we giggle sometimes…. that trying to be nice when really what we want to ask is ‘please go now’. the nice-guy vibe says “i will be good to you”, and that trumps “i can protect you” with many, many women. the fear of rape doesn’t extend to situations when you are around people, it is something that raises it’s head when you are completely alone, so a man’s ability to ‘protect’ doesn’t really factor into it. walking down the street with the wimpiest of men can still make a woman feel safe because the greatest fear is being ‘alone’, not rape believe it or not.
the thing about my polite, nice guy is - he is confident. you CAN send signals that you are strong without being a bad boy. it depends on what you want too. most of the bar hoppers, male and female, that i know really wind up looking like crap after a few years and gathered a few stds along the way. :op if you’re talking about a longer relationship with less risk of disease and more continual closeness then you aren’t going to get that by making women think you are a jerk. for the men without an ounce of ability to be a bad boy, who are not helped by that suggestion at all… try being chivalrous instead. doing something that makes you feel good and confident will always help make you look more appealling, too.
I think there are a lot of factors… I mean, confidence for one might be the sexy thing. I think confidence is sexy no matter how “nice” or “charming” a guy is.
Also, different locations attract different kinds of people. Clubbing isn’t exactly the place a woman goes to look for a “nice” guy. Try the book club or something. Though that’s stereotyping, isn’t it?
Interesting though.
Nice article! I guess you figured out how to pimp, cause thats the way they do it. Just joking man, i thought the article was really good. i was expecting something different. But i wrote a similar article on my ghetto site.
Hi.. its absolutely true.. that gals like nice guys.. but Love bad guys.. I try to show off really good guy at one stage.. I made gorgeous friends who are gals.. but not gal friends.. one magic word to attract gals is.. BE URSELF.. just make comments n jokes as if you are with your school buddies.. make her feel that you are comfortable with her.. not giving some artificial mannerism.. That helps you to attract gals.. and also gets some respect from the guys around U..
Very true, but deeper than just protection.
Ever Since I can remember I have always been the sweet kid and had female friends, but never any real strong relationships, because they never got into me. I always saw girls with the tougher or more confident boy. When I was 17 I through caution into the wind and became confident in who I was and attracted more women friends, but had to really try hard for that attraction. It was during this time I got a response that floored me. I was “too nice of a guy, there must be something hidden that is bad”. WHAT! I had a really good relationship with a not so beautiful woman, but great person and her beautiful friend convinced her I was too nice and must be setting her up.
I am now 40 and I have seen the same pattern with not just my relationships, but with other relationships. I have also learned to adapt to not only being confident, but elusive and hard shelled. I let a women think she needs to crack me to know me, which I learned is part of their wiring. Women say they want the “nice guy”, but that is only slightly true. They want the mysterious tough guy they can change who is nice to them.
Truth is that what you give off is confidence. When I got divorced and really didn’t care if I was hooked up or not, I had more opportunities than I could possibly have dealt with…when I wanted it you could have rolled me in dead skunk. The difference was is that when I didn’t care I probably seemed more in control and more confident. When I wanted I probably pressed and acted more tentative.
A lot of gals I know go for the boys who come off as bonafide fools and I don’t understand why. I like average guys. Not guys who think they’re God’s gift to the world of women, but a guy who I can be friends with. Physical attraction only lasts so long before you figure out you could do better. I want a guy who will stand by me and just be there for me, not see how far he can “push my buttons.” Girls who fall for men like that can’t see the big picture. Besides, I agree with Maili. I am much more wary of being date raped by some bad boy hunk than I am of a stranger in a parking garage. As for pretending to be a “bad boy” to get women, how much do you think those women care about you if they’re falling for some cheap trash trick of being cocky and arrogant? Those gals may be a big percentage, but they ain’t worth it when there are women like me who like their men nice.
If you’re just trying to pick girls up-you probably need silly tricks like this to get what you want. If you want someone compatible for a great relationship, be yourself. Better to get rejected 50 times on your way to the right person than “score” over and over with the wrong ones.
Thanks for the article. I’ve heard it said that such rules especially apply in metropolitan areas, and are more relaxed in the ‘country’. As I city boy, I can totally identify with this author’s article. I hope to finish because it looks like I’m coming in late; as usual.